Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? “Overall, the widespread use of the internet has a mostly positive effect on life in today’s world.”
Use reasons and details to support your opinion.
Nowadays everybody uses the internet1. We cannot even imagine our life without it. There is no doubt that the internet changed2 the world drastically. I personally believe that the widespread3 of the internet contains far more pros than cons. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all the internet provides endless educational opportunities. I strongly believe that self-education is an essential part of life. By forcing yourself to learn new things you grow like4 a person. The internet has everything for self-studying . You can find any information you want just by clicking several buttons. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. I have always dreamed about becoming fluent in several foreign languages but everybody knows how hard it is to learn a language. Recently I have started learning Spanish as a foreign language. As a result, I am already making progress.5 It would not be possible without the internet. I have found many YouTube channels which are teaching Spanish in a really fascinating way , as well as a couple of web platforms which allow me to master crucial grammar points and a variety of Spanish series and movies that help me to obtain the native manner of speaking.
Secondly, the internet offers a ton of different ways of communication. We can connect with people all over the world in spite of6 their location. The internet can help you chat with your friends as well as big companies run their businesses7. For instance, because of the COVID-19 many people stuck8 at their houses but It didn’t ruin the economy. Millions of people are working from their homes at the moment via a bunch of9 internet services such as Skype, Zoom etc. Thereby, all that people have to do is just turn on the app and the same moment they will be in a web conference with their colleagues discussing the same things that they would be discussing if they met in real life. However, the coronavirus has not invented a new way of using the internet. It just has reshowed10 it.
In conclusion, I am of the opinion that spreading of the internet has effected our life mostly in a good way. This is because of educational opportunities , and new convenient ways of communication.
Нумерация ошибок соответствует маркировке в тексте. Рекомендуемые исправления и изменения в тексте подчёркнуты.
- the Internet — несмотря на то, что в задании слово написано с маленькой буквы, рекомендуем всегда писать Internet с заглавной.
- В данном моменте лучше было бы использовать форму Present Perfect: «… the Internet has changed the world…». Это ярче проиллюстрирует влияние изменений на ситуацию сейчас.
- Здесь нужно существительное. Widespread — это прилагательное. Существует слово widespreadness, можно заменить им, либо использовать что-то иное, например ubiquity
- You grow as a person. Like будет иметь значение «похожий на кого-то», в то время как as — «в каком-либо качестве или какой-то сфере».
- Рекомендую объединить это предложение с предыдущим: Recently I have started learning Spanish as a foreign language and I am already making progress.
- In spite of подразумевает какой-то негативный фактор, несмотря на который что-то происходит. Здесь же нам нужна конструкция regardless of — «независимо от», которая не имеет какой-то негативной коннотации.
- В данном случае нам также нужен глагол и для второго clause: «… as well as help/aid big companies run their businesses».
- … many people are stuck at their houses — необходим вспомогательный глагол to be
- A bunch of сильно выбивается из общей формальной стилистики данной работы. Рекомендуем заменить на что-то вроде «a number/range/variety/array of».
- Reintroduced будет более уместным словом — «заново ввела в употребление».
Хороший текст с чёткой структурой, уместным стилем, который достаточно полно раскрывает вопрос, поставленный заданием. Немногие ошибки в этом письме не несут какого-то систематического характера и не препятствуют пониманию (за исключением случаев №4, 6, 10). Без разбития по шкале TOEFL Writing, я бы поставил этой работе 23/30.