IELTS Writing Task 2 — Traffic Congestion #5

The world we live in is the place where the process of modernisation has an impact on everything people do. Nowadays, humans in terms of₁ convenience and comfort try to purchase a car to use it on a regular basis, but here comes the problem, contemporary cities are getting overcrowded with automobiles. Urban traffic problems cause some₂ destructive effects on population and environment, so it is needed to find some₂ solutions to overcome such a situation.

First of all, it is quite obvious that, currently, cities, which are developed enough, may seem like a noisy, dusty and oversaturated ‘traffic jam’₃. One possible reason for this situation is that the world becomes more urbanised and in new agglomerations people need to follow their ‘to do lists’ in a lack of time₄. That’s why having a personal car these days means that you are independent and proactive. For example, residents of Voronezh, with a salary of a medium level try to have a car per each adult in one’s family to do all the duties.

The negative aspect of the problem is that with an increase in the car number on roads citizens may suffer from air,₅ noise pollution as long as having difficulties in moving around the city freely.₆ Therefore, governments may present an alternative way of mobility. Speaking more precisely, administration of one₇ city should promote a healthy lifestyle by showing great examples via advertisement, creating essential infrastructure for new approaches to everyday activities. To illustrate, in the streets of Tokyo you can find highly qualified₈ bike lanes that residents use in spite of automobile usage.₉

To conclude, awareness of people’s destructive impact on the environment will help to cope with congestion in the city. A policy that is intended to motivate people for transformations could be also applied to a broader class of modern urban life. (307 words)

1. Если я правильно понял предложение: «Люди пытаются купить автомобиль ради удобства и комфорта». Тогда так: «Nowadays, humans try to purchase a car for the sake of convenience and comfort…»
2. ‘Some’ не стоит употреблять в письменной части. Заменяйте на certain, particular, different или что-то такое в зависимости от контекста
3. Нужны ли нам здесь кавычки? Как мне видится, слово использованно во вполне буквальном смысле.
4. Тут нужна другая фраза, например «while being short on time», «in fluster», «in haste», «while running late».
5. Тут нужен союз, так как у нас всего два слова.
6. К сожалению, я не совсем понял эту часть предложения, в особенности наречение «freely». Могу предположить, что оно означает «без/вне автомобиля».
7. Администрация одного города? Или тут «One’s city administration?» Хотелось бы прояснить, в данном виде формулировка немного сбивает с толку.
8. Про велодорожки всё же нельзя сказать «высококвалифицированные». High quality? Well-designed?
9. Тут наверное про то, что велосипед используется несмотря на наличие автомобиля: «… bike lanes that residents use in spite of having an automobile».