IELTS Writing Task 2 — Longer Lives

Science can give the human beings₁ an opportunity to live more than for a hundred years₂. However, such possibility₃ may bring the world’s society lots of repercussions, as well as benefits.

Overall, there are some good aspects of this innovation₄. Firstly, the elderly may share their life and work experience with the younger generation. For example, conveying their wisdom for the young may reduce the level of criminalism and help them to find their place in life. Secondly, it can be beneficial for the young parents₅ if the elderly members of a family look after their grandchildren while the parents are working. It also can be a cause of personal fulfulment for pensioners.

On the other hand, there may be some obvious drawbacks. The medicine that would help old people to keep fit and maintain mind₆ in a good condition is not tested well nowadays. Consequently, these drugs may be life-threatening and the humanity can₇ be at risk of dying out. Another downside is that there would not be workplaces for young workers. Hence, in the case of an octogenarian person has₈ health and lots of experience, it can₉ be more profitable for an employer not to employ₁₀ a student after graduation.

To sum up, having a chance for people to live for a long time may affect the processes in society in a good way or in a bad one. Nonetheless, if pension and work systems would be well-organized, it may be the key for₁₁ success.

1. Science can give human beings — артикль в данном случае не нужен, т.к. мы говорим о людях в целом.
2. To live for more than a hundred years — предлог for в данном случае должен стоять перед прилагательным more.
3. Such a possibility — possibility — исчисляемое существительное в единственном числе, а значит нам нужен артикль. Such a possibility является устоявшимся выражением.
4. There are some good aspects of this change/development — слово innovation не подходит. Инновация — нововведение. Здесь более уместным будет использовать нейтральное change или development.
5. For young parents — Также, как и в случае №1 нам не нужен определённый артикль — речь идёт о молодых родителях в общем.
6. Maintain/keep their mind — необходимо притяжательное местоимение their для ясности, о чьём разуме идёт речь.
7. By sponsoring — by giving… and by sponsoring
8. In the case of… having … — конструкция in (the) case of … предполагает использование глагола в continuous (having).
9. It could be — речь идёт о гипотетической, вымышленной ситуации.
10. For an employer not to hire/take on — избегайте однокоренных слов в одном предложении — это бросается в глаза как признак низкого словарного запаса.
11. Key to success — key to является устоявшейся коллокацией.