IELTS Writing Task 2 — Cars

The importance of cars as a vehicles₁ rises inevitably. However, this trend brings us some problems that should be combated.

One of the first issues that cars dump₂ oil waste that makes air₃ polluted. Moreover, it affects the atmosphere as well as human health. It has been proven by doctors that such pollution is₄ life-threatening and causes heart attacks and strokes. Another downside is that production of cars does not fit proper regulations in some countries. In othet words, the technologies of this manufacturing may be not eco-friendly itself₅, that can entail land degradation and make the ground barren.

It is important that action is taken to combat these problems. At first, the governments mut create appropriate conditions for their citizens to use less dangerous transport system. For example, the Kingdom of Norway prompted Norwegians to use eco-mobiles by giving them electrical petrol₆ for free and sponsoring₇  development₈ of such cars. Indeed, some countries as₉ Sweden, Finland and Denmark already₁₀ created opportunities for making their nature pristine, and they are in the list of the best countries for living now. The society also has a part to play — people should not misuse transports₁₁.  It means that simply having₁₂ a bicycle each person may reduce repercussions₁₃ that they would make preferring buses and cars less.

To sum up, the influence of cars should not be underestimated. Their numbers increases₁₃ considerably and this development may affect human society. Nonetheless, with the right actions taken by authorities and ordinary people we can create a safe way of transportation for everyone.

1. As a vehicle — мы говорим о машинах как о классе средств передвижения — в единственном числе.
2. Cars produce oil waste — ‘dump — стилистически грубое слово, которое к тому же может означать, что машины намеренно выбрасывают продукты отходов. Лучше использовать нейтральное ‘produce’
3. Makes the air polluted — необходим артикль с так называемыми ‘уникальными’ объектами, например the world, the universe и в том числе the air.
4. Such pollution can be life-threatening — ещё одна стилистическая рекомендация — использовать приём под названием hedging, т.е. сглаживание резких высказываний. Проверяющие это любят.
5. Eco-friendly by itself/ in itself — само (производство) по себе
6. Electrical power — разумеется, бензин не может быть электрическим.
7. By sponsoring — by giving… and by sponsoring
8. The dvelopment of such cars — речь об определённых разработках
9. Such as Sweden — используйте such as для введения списка. Также возможно использовать ‘like’ в случаях разговорного английского (помните, что в IELTS Writing требуется использовать formal register).
10. Have already created — маркёр already предполагает использование Present Perfect.
11. Transport — если хочется упомянуть различные виды общественного транспорта, то можно сказать ‘kinds of public transport’.
12. Simply by having a bicycle… — by … показывает на способ достижения какой-либо цели.
13. Their numbers keep increasing — использование continuous здесь более ярко выразит идеи текущей ситуации.