IELTS Writing Task 1 — Sports in New Zealand #2

The presented bar chart demonstrated the popularity of different sports among boys and girls in New Zealand in 2002. Despite the most usual₁ there are some more untraditional types like netball and soccer.

The most popular among girls is netball, that prefers about 25% of interviewed₂, then it₃ comes swimming – more than 20% and other types. Among boys it is soccer, which was chosen also by a quoter, after₄ – other sport activities and swimming.

The least widespread sport with girls is cricket – under 5%, while with male respondents it is netball – around 1%. Tennis, basketball, marital arts and athletics have a middle position. They do not have big difference between girls and boys and their indicators fluctuate in a range from 5% to 10%.

Overall, the chart makes clear that population in New Zealand in₅ 2002 was attracted by sport and even not specifically mentioned types are popular among nation.

1. Вероятно «despite» использовано в значении «кроме, помимо» — в таком случае лучше подойдут фразы «Along with», «Other than»; Вместо «usual» я бы рекомендовал использовать «common».
2. «… that about 25% of the interviewed prefers/that is preferred by about 25% of the interviewed» — помимо порядка слов обратите внимание на использование артикля с «interviewed» — таким образом создаются т.н. субстантивированные прилагательные (the rich — богатые (люди)).
3. «then comes swimming» — у нас уже есть подлежащее — «плавание».
4. Спеллинг слова четверт — quarter; after that (или which) — тут нам необходимо подлежащее.
5. «… population of New Zealand in 2002…» — не ошибка, замена на оf, чтобы не повторять in.